Yes...I'm Pregnant AGAIN

We will meet again in Heaven...

I've already spoken of my first Instant Angel with my very first pregnancy.

My 2nd Instant Angel happened with my Prince Charming. I was taking birth control but had missed 2 pills, and had to make up for it, by taking the 2 pills in one day....I think this screwed my system up, because in November of 1999 I took a Home Pregnancy Test and it came out +++. WHOA! OK this was a total shocker! I wasn't married! This can't happen!

We had this trip planned for Thanksgiving, for me and him and the kids, to drive out to WA to meet and have dinner with his family. Reluctantly, I agreed. I was working and so stressed out. I hated my job and finding out I was pregnant, just added to everything. "What am I going to do?!"

Just before the trip, I began bleeding at work. I actually ended up quitting that day. I came home and just bawled my eyes out. I did call my boyfriend and let him know. He reacted to sweet. He was so nice.

We did end up going on the trip anyway ...it was awful though, miscarrying far away from home...and trying to impress his family. I put on a good face and smiled my way through it.

My 3rd Instant Angel happened in 2001, basically right after the HTP said +. I didn't get a chance to be happy about being pregnant. It just ended and was over. Don't confuse that with not being tough to deal with. At times it was tougher as even my new hubbie indicated that it wasn't that big a deal because it was so early. Let's just say he knows better now. Men can be taught!

My 4th Instant Angel happened in 2006. Basically we were playing with fire and knew a pregnancy could happen. I lost the baby at about 8 wks along. This was hard for me, because I had time to feel pregnant...I wanted that baby. We had even told a few people about it.

Instant Angels are so hard...you struggle with so many emotions. I always felt like I did something to cause it. I could not understand why it happened. But in God's terms, we start with Him and end with Him, regardless of our length on Earth. I pray to take peace in this thought.

Bill of Rights for
Mothers of Instant Angels

You have the right to:

1. Know the facts about what happened and potential implications for the
    future. Seek answers to your questions, look at the medical records,
    and take notes.

2. Make decisions about what you would like do with your maternity clothes
    and baby items. Others might try to make quick choices for you; instead
    use others to help you figure out what option is best for you.

3. Protect yourself by avoiding situations that you know will be difficult. Set
    realistic goals for yourself. For example, focus on coping through the day
    rather then the entire week.

4. Take time to grieve and heal. There is no set time allotment for healing
    nor is it something that can be rushed.

5. Receive support even though this may not be easy for you. If you feel out
    of control or overwhelmed, consider seeking help from a counselor,
    therapist or support group to help guide you through the grieving process.

6. Be sad and joyful. It is okay to feel sad at times but the key is to not let it
    control you. Others have survived their grief, and in time you will too. Do
    enjoyable things because laughter and joy are healers. Remember that
    celebrating bits of joy doesn't dishonor your loss.

7. Remember your baby. Healing doesn't mean forgetting or making the
    memories insignificant. You may want to name your baby. Some women
    find comfort by doing something tangible like planting a tree, selecting a
    special piece of jewelry with a birthstone, or donating to a charity. On the
    anniversary you may want to share a special time with your partner.

source: www.americanpregnancy.org